Expect nothing….

Accept everything. 

Any time you have an expectation about something, anything – a person, event, or outcome – you are setting yourself up for pain.  Because as we’ve talked about before, you can’t control your external environment or the people in it.  The only thing you can manage is your internal climate.

When you have an expectation, then your internal climate is dependent upon the external factor occurring (whatever it is that you’re expecting to happen).  Here’s an example that most of us have experienced at some point in our lives:  You meet someone and go on a first date….it goes well.  You expect that he wants to go out with you again.  You expect him to call you.  You expect him to call you within the next week.

He doesn’t.  You are crestfallen, dismayed, sad, feeling unattractive, etc.  But in reality, nothing has changed.  You still had a good time on your first date….the facts haven’t changed. 

But your mood and how you feel has changed dramatically, for the negative.  And why?  Because you expected him to take a certain action and to feel a certain way, and he didn’t. 

If we take the expectation out of the equation, let’s see how it might play out:  You meet someone and go on a first date….it goes well.  You think to yourself, “That was nice.  We’ll see if anything comes of it.  If he calls, I’d like to go out with him again.  If he doesn’t, I might think about calling him or I might just let it go.  Either way, the date was fun and I had a good time.”

He doesn’t call.  You decide not to call him.  You feel good.  Life goes on as usual.  See the difference? 

In this scenario, you are not allowing your mood/feelings to be determined by someone/ something outside of your control.  You are staying in charge of your inner world, your internal climate, and are accepting whatever happens as okay.  You are seeing life’s events as neutral.  And you are determined to be happy and peaceful, no matter what others do or say.

Sri Swami Satchidananda said it this way, “Any kind of expectation creates a problem.  We should accept, but not expect.  Whatever comes, accept it.  Whatever goes, accept it.  The immediate benefit is that your mind is always peaceful.”

And isn’t that what you really want — to feel good and be at peace?  Practice accepting “what is”, allowing people and events to be whatever they will be, seeing others without judgment, and focusing instead on your internal climate.  You’ll be happily surprised at the results….(but don’t have any expectations about them!).

Have you found that letting go of your expectations, and accepting “what is” has helped in your life?  Please let us know.