Live Authentically

I’m sure you’ve had the experience of meeting someone and knowing that their greeting was totally insincere….just words….because words were required….but it certainly did not feel like a heart-felt welcome to you.

And on another occasion, you’ve met someone for the first time and felt an instant kinship with them…you could tell how kind and genuine they were…and yet they may have said the exact same words as the disingenuous person did.

So what’s the difference?  The first person was being insincere and didn’t really mean what they said.  The second person was expressing from their heart and truly meant what they said.  And you don’t need an advanced degree to pick up on these things.

And if you’re able to tell the difference, then so is everyone else — makes sense, right?  (Ok, I know I’m stating the obvious here, but so many people think they can “fake” happiness or pretend to enjoy themselves at a party, and they believe they’re actually getting away with it!  So I felt like it had to be said….)

I’ve found that the people I most enjoy being around are real, authentic and genuine.  That doesn’t mean they’re always sweet and syrupy — but it does mean that they are honest with what they’re feeling, they come from the heart, and they are willing to talk openly about situations.

They are concerned about others’ feelings, but still willing to state their thoughts and ideas (in considerate ways).  They want to make others feel comfortable, but not at their own expense.  They have healthy boundaries and are willing to lovingly enforce them.

An example is the infamous party that you don’t want to attend.  If you are being authentic, you have two options:  1) Choose not to attend and do something else you’d rather do, OR  2) Attend and choose to find something interesting in the people you meet — in other words, make up your mind to be authentic and to have a good time.

What doesn’t benefit anyone is to attend, be miserable and wish you could leave all night, just making “nice” with people to pass the time.  Who are you fooling?  Certainly not the people you’ve been talking to!  And you’re not doing yourself any favors either.

It’s more important to be true to yourself, than it is to pretend to be something you’re not.  We already know that people are able to tell when you’re inauthentic….so don’t waste their time or yours.  Be real.  Be who you are.  Be honest.  Be genuine.  Be forthright.  Be considerate.  Be authentic.

It’s better that someone know who you are and not like you, than to like you for someone you’re pretending to be, but really aren’t!

The alternative is:  “to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”  (Elbert Hubbard)  But to me, this doesn’t seem like much of an alternative…

So I encourage you to become aware of those times when you’re not being real….and begin to speak from your heart, from your truth (in ways that are also considerate of others).  You will feel better and so will the person you’re talking to.

After all, it’s really nice to be seen, heard, and known.  And in order for that to occur, we have to be willing to share who we really are with another.  And that means being real and living authentically.

Have you experienced this?  Please share….